The Good Dog’s Pledge

THE GOOD DOG’S PLEDGE

I will not eat the cats’ food, before or “after “ they eat it.
I will not drink out of the toilet no matter how thirsty I am.
I will not get a mouthful of kibble and spill it all across the kitchen, dining room, and living room floor just
so my human (who is reading in the living room) can watch me eat.
I will not roll in dead skunks, squirrels, rabbits, etc.
I will not drop gooey rawhide chews into my human’s lap.
I will not eat any more socks & then deposit them in the backyard after processing.
I will not spray my human anymore when I have a huge sneeze.
I will not eat mice which the cat has caught for me.
I will not run to my human after I’ve eaten burp in his face.
I will not lick my human’s face after I’ve cleaned my private parts.
I will not eat my human’s mail., especially the bills.
I wil not jump in the car to go for a ride when my humans are already running late for work.
When my human is putting on socks, I will not take this as a sign to start a game of tug-a-war.
I will not play tag around the dining room table after I have found a “treasure” (underwear, socks, tissues,
or other “stuff” from the garbage, kitchen towels, school projects, money, etc) when my human is trying to
catch me. I
I will only do my “someone is out there “ bark when there really is someone there.
I do not have to be in the room when my human goes to the bathroom.
My human’s toes should not be in the socks OIchoose to chew on.
I will stop ;playing dead when lying in the middle of the bed when my humans want to get in.
I will not unwrap the Cjriostmas present when my humans are away at work.
I will not steal my humans underwear and dance all over the bvack yard with it.
I will not “kill” the blow up pool and drag it triumphantly around the yard.
I will not bark at those “flat folk” in the mirror and their dog (who looks a lot like me) as they live here too

Wendy MacDondals